12.14.12.

December 14, 2012 started out as any ordinary day.  I woke up with my boys as usual, sipped coffee, snuggled and watched cartoons, had our normal morning routine.  I was beyond excited because my twin sister had her 39 week Dr. appointment and was waiting to hear if she would be having her little girl that day or not.  Around 11 am I received the news that my sister was being admitted to the hospital and baby Jarvis would arrive sometime in the near future.  Through many tears of joy and “happy dancing” with Noah I turned the television on to the afternoon news.

The celebration stopped.

I put my boys down for a 2 hour nap and for the 30 minutes I watched CNN it was as if the world stopped.  Completely. Stopped.  I cried, and I couldn’t stop until my boys woke up.

I watched the most horrific scene I had ever seen in my life.  So many questions ran through my mind.  As a parent, my heart physically ached for the families of every child at that school in Connecticut.  I can’t even begin to imagine the pain and sadness those families will go through for the rest of their lives.

The rest of the afternoon was an emotional rollercoaster.  I hugged my boys the. entire. day.  I couldn’t let them go.  In between updating my family on my sister’s labor, I was overcome with emotion of not knowing how to be overjoyed because a precious new life was about to enter this world, and being overcome with sadness for all of the innocent children who were unfairly taken away from this world much too soon.  I asked myself, “Will my children be safe in this world?  What kind of lives will they live with so much hatred and heartache?”

I didn’t turn on the TV the rest of the day.  I couldn’t.  December 14, 2012 was now supposed to be a celebration of new life, not a day of mourning and sadness for me.  I didn’t know how to deal with it.

I ate dinner with my Mom, we talked about all things baby, and said we would not discuss the days tragic events.  We couldn’t.

I went home and tried to sleep at 11p.m.  With no news of my new niece’s birth yet, I tried to sleep thinking she would be born on the the 15th, not the 14th, which will always be known for so much death and sadness.

At 12:19 a.m. on December 15, 2012 I woke up to a text from my brother-in-law with one of the most beautiful photographs I had ever seen.  A sweet little angel- baby Addelyn Caroline Jarvis was born at 11:45 p.m. on December 14, 2012.  I cried.  A lot.  For the first time all day, I cried for the reason that she made December 14, 2012 an amazingly beautiful and bright day for my family.  There will always be sadness around Addy’s birthday- knowing that so many tiny lives were lost, but I also believe that where there is death, there is also new life.  Thank you baby Addy for giving our family another blessing and hope on such a tragic day.  You are truly a blessing in our lives.  We will celebrate your birthday with feelings of joy and thankfulness each year.   I can’t wait to see you grow and watch your parents love you all the days of your life.  Love you dear.  I am beyond excited to snuggle you this afternoon.  Xo.  Auntie Jessie

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